Wednesday, January 8, 2020

Important Question: Should I travel alone?

Short answer:

Just in case you needed a sign.

Longer answer: BUT there are things to consider first (the possibility of WWIII notwithstanding).

As stated in my previous post, traveling alone is very scary, especially if you choose to leave your own country and explore a foreign land. It can be risky or even dangerous being somewhere you aren't familiar with and have no personal contacts nearby. You're more vulnerable, you have no one to catch you when you fall, and you're in a culture that is completely different from your own.

You are also more free than you've ever been.



There are many, many arguments you can bring up to discourage yourself from not going to another country by yourself, especially if you're a single woman like myself. And yet, once you're however many miles you are from everything familiar and it's all you, you experience a freedom unlike anything you've ever experienced. Nobody knows who you are, so you can let yourself go!

Since the immediate answer to this question is a firm yes, I won't go into the reasons why you shouldn't travel alone, because I'm sure you can come up with a million different reasons, as I myself envisioned before making that decision. This post will be about the reasons why you should absolutely travel alone.

Disclaimer: most of this post will be geared toward single women, but this advice is for everyone, so please be patient with the single-heavy content. Everyone should try this, even if you aren't single.


First things first: What constitutes as solo traveling?

I'm glad you asked! Solo traveling is where a traveler flies out to a foreign country and spends a minimum of 24 hours by themselves. Flying, driving, or taking the train by yourself doesn't count unless you will be on your own when you land at your destination and continue on by yourself without any friends, family, groups or organizations waiting for you to join them, or at least for less than 24 hours.

For the record, this is my own definition, but I'm also going by the rule that if you have a layover in a different country and don't leave the airport, it doesn't count as a country you've visited. Otherwise I'd have Iceland on my list.


And now, on with my post on why you should travel alone!

No societal pressures

I'll be drawing on my own personal experience here to start; being single isn't easy, whether you are a woman or otherwise. There is a lot of pressure that is put upon American singles, such as making a statement against cultural norms, or the opposite argument that you've reached a certain age where you should have settled by now.


Depending on the person, these pressures have a wide range of how they affect the single person. As one myself, I can attest that being half a world away from that pressure does make a difference. Yes, a lot of the time friendly locals will ask if you are married or have kids, but when you answer no, most people will change the subject and move on, while others joked about me coming to the country I was in to find a husband, which I would laugh off and then move on. I fully believe that if you're single, traveling by yourself is something you should do at least once in your life.

If you aren't single, or if you have kids, you have a different set of pressures that are no less relevant. It may be more difficult to do since you have immediate responsibilities, but I would highly recommend trying solo travel regardless. Being so far from the life you've put together, or could barely be holding together, can be extremely therapeutic and help you grow in ways you never knew you needed to.


Escape those societal pressures by going somewhere you've never been if you feel brave enough to try it. And if you don't think you ever can travel by yourself, that's absolutely fine. At least consider it.

There's almost always room for one more person!

Believe it or not, one of the perks of being single, or at least traveling by yourself, is that there's almost always one seat open or space for one more person at an attraction.


One of the best examples of this is, shockingly, recognized by Disney of all people (remember, I used to be a Disney cast member). At several of the Disney parks across the world, some rides have single rider lines and options if you are not part of a bigger group. At attractions, on public transportation, hotels, restaurants, and even planes, there is almost always one seat open (well, with the latter if the plane hasn't overbooked). In the case of restaurants, you'll often be seated sooner because they can't always seat smaller booths or tables, or there could be space at the bar where you can also order food.

Now there are times where a group that has exactly the number needed to fill seats or opening wherever you're going, but the odds of them having an extra seat are far higher, and let's face it: most groups are families and they're definitely not going to separate for one seat. Going anywhere by yourself is usually far more convenient.

You are outside of your comfort zone

It's very easy to fall into routines in the States. You get married, have kids, go to work, go to church, do volunteer or community work, participate in sports, do chores, cook, or whatever else normal Americans do. Even as a single, routines are almost comforting because they give you a sense of purpose. Regardless of status, routines are extremely easy to conform to.

It happens to everyone

Leaving for a vacation or holiday is a nice way to temporarily shake up those routines, so take advantage of what time you're allowed since most other countries are more lenient in that department. Going at it alone, however, is the ultimate in leaving your comfort zone. I personally am an introvert with the occasional lean toward extroversion depending on how I'm feeling, so going out somewhere by myself isn't that big of a deal and it was something I could easily adapt to once I did it. But once you do take that step, you start to realize how reliant you are on the easement of your life.

Being out in the world by yourself completely shatters your comfort zone. The reality is that it is extremely uncomfortable to be somewhere new. It's in this area where you find yourself having to rise to the situation and see what you can and will do. Whatever plans you have, whether it's continuing by yourself for a few days and then joining a group, or going on by yourself, all suddenly become very real. You are by yourself and far from home and must rely entirely on yourself to get anything done. 

This also brings me to my next point...

Learning how to adapt to different cultures

If you travel with someone, such as a partner, friend, or family member, they can act as an anchor to your country of origin. If you're starting to feel homesick or a little out of place, the person you're with will be that one familiar thing that can bring you comfort.

See ya, comfort!

By going alone or joining a tour group with no other people from your own country, you find yourself forced to adapt. You don't necessarily have to assimilate into the culture, but you become more aware of how people act, what traditions are, how dietary restrictions work (such as kosher food), experience how they party or celebrate, and find out how their religious practices work. You can learn by watching or actively participating.

It's very difficult to not adapt when you are alone in foreign country or far from home. And once you do, some of those adaptations may become part of who you are. You never know!

Developing a healthy dose of humility

This point will be a little lengthy.

Continuing the previous points, having someone with you in the case that you make a mistake is a bigger safety net than you realize. You and a friend take a wrong turn in an unfamiliar city because one of you read the GPS or directions wrong, the two of you aren't entirely alone; you can retrace your steps together in relative safety. You take a wrong turn and you're by yourself, that's all on you.


One of the best ways to face your failings (everyone's got them!) is to do it where no one else can bail you out. Now I'm not talking illegal stuff; if you do that, I'm not going to advise you on what to do. For mistakes such as missing a tour or flight, getting lost, being willingly taken advantage of, or committing some kind of taboo that only affects you can be one of the toughest lessons you will ever learn. With no one to comfort you when you fail or tell you that things weren't your fault, especially if it was, there's no one to blame but yourself.

I myself have made a few mistakes while I was on my own. For example: on my first full day in London alone, I got lost and couldn't find my way back to Globe Theatre, where I absolutely needed to be. Instead of asking for directions or using my GPS (I couldn't find a place that offered free Wi-Fi and hadn't set up a cell phone plan that included extra data usage), I sought out the maps on the street corners which didn't point north, causing me to go further from my destination. Most other tourists could probably have figured it out, but I sure didn't. I wandered London for about 2 hours and couldn't find the Thames River Walk that had a direct path to the Globe.


Eventually, and after spending about 10 minutes in a comic book shop I absolutely had to check out, I finally found the Thames. By the end of the day, I had walked 16.62 miles. I could have hailed a cab, taken the Underground, or even asked someone for help, but I didn't. I was so exhausted after seeing Twelfth Night at the Globe that I barely had enough energy to go to the British Museum the next day. I was needlessly tired with a sore lower back, both of which could have been avoided if I'd been willing to find some help.

Although this would be considered a minor mistake by solo travelers, it is also the most common. When there's nobody to blame but yourself, you are served a healthy dose of humility and a lesson rarely learned. It may be frustrating to have experienced, but it's in the mistakes where you grow the most. Those lessons won't easily be forgotten and can help you become a better person overall.


International scavenger hunts!

This point is one of my favorite ones to make. With the tourism industry growing every year, some artists, architects, or even groups are setting up Easter Egg hunts all across the world. For example, there's the professional Global Scavenger Hunt, a trip that is meant to take you all over the world to seek out experiences across the world.

On my most recent trip to Europe, our group's bus driver, a very cool and entertaining Polish dude that we called Spaghetti, introduced me to an app called "Flashinvaders." This app was developed by an artist where you seek out these guys all over France, Europe, and other places in the world:

This experience in enhanced when playing "Tom Sawyer" by Rush

Sure enough, I spent the rest of the trip seeking these out. It's not only the space invaders you seek out, but mosaic versions of Pac-Man, Mario, Link, Samus, and other random characters, mostly involved with the 8-bit graphics from the early days of Nintendo. When I tried it, I had a phone that was starting to die due to planned obsolescence and it didn't save ANY pics of the space invaders or the Pac-Man ghost I found in Paris or London, but it DID retain this image:

Yup, my phone knew to retain the Spock image because I'm a Trekker

There are mosaics of this all over Europe, and a few in the States that I now need to seek out. Little hunts like these keep your eyes open, and even when you're looking for them you may still come across hidden gems where you're traveling that you wouldn't ordinarily see.

You can also choose your own personal scavenger hunt when you go by yourself. The second time I went to Ireland, I discovered the Sphere Within Sphere artwork, which is a bronze orb that can be found dozens on places across the world. Having already found the one at Trinity College, and learning there were two in California's Bay Area, I decided to seek these out for myself. I have now found four!

Top L-R: Trinity College (Dublin, IE) and University of California Berkeley (Berkeley, CA). Bottom L-R: The Vatican (Italy), and U.N. Headquarters, NYC. The last one required me to go through 15 minutes of security clearance just to spend 2 minutes getting pics!

Wikipedia reports that there are at least 16, but this blog documents at least one that's not on the list, so that would make approximately 17 in the world, maybe even more than haven't been reported yet. And do I plan on finding the reported 13 I haven't come across yet? You bet!

Now when seeking out items as part of scavenger hunt or your own personal preferences by yourself, you can cover way more ground without other people, and sometimes anyone you're traveling with won't want to do it, which is fair when traveling in a group. So, when it's a personal goal, solo traveling is usually the best way because you have the power to ensure that you get it done.

Your ancestors couldn't do this

Readers, we live in an amazing age when it comes to travel. Think back about two hundred years to a great-great-great grandparent who may have been bent over an atlas, wanting to see the countries in those maps; or maybe they were reading books about Japanese culture and wanted more than anything in the world to go there. Most of our ancestors could only dream of reaching these countries that we now only need several hours to get to!

Admit it, you heard this in Alan Rickman's voice

Now history is full of people who left their countries to go to new ones to make better lives for themselves, but there is a big difference between people who traveled for new lives and those who traveled for fun. For the women, how many are noted in the history books as having been travelers? Yes, there are a few out there, but there are far more men who did. Maybe there was an ancestor of yours who hoped that someday one of their descendants would have the chance to travel the world for them. Do it for yourself and do it for those who came before that didn't have the means or opportunity to do so.

A chance for...romance?

I'll be the first to say that I am a realist, and a bit of a cynic when it comes to romance. I also think that rom-coms can be extremely toxic and give people (especially women) very bad expectations about love. Life is not a Hallmark movie, and you're not going to be swept off your feet by some local or a sexy foreigner on your trip and wind up leaving your rich boyfriend by the end of your holiday.

BUT...


Seriously? It's doable. As long as you're not cheating on someone.

Although I personally haven't traveled as much as I would like to, if there's anything that I've learned it's that pretty much anything can happen. Can sparks bloom between you and some other person? Well, it can! I've seen it happen. While I personally am still a bit of a cynic myself, the realist in me must admit that sometimes you can be completely taken by surprise. Someone can take a chance on you, or you can take that chance yourself. It can last your trip, or it can be a spark that can last the rest of your life.


If a cynic like me can be more opened minded, you can be too!

Your manners improve

My parents raised me to be polite and working in customer service has irrevocably removed any rudeness toward anyone in a service job. Being alone in a foreign country cranks your manners, whether your scale is high or low, up to levels you hadn't realized you could go.


For some reason I'm not entirely sure about, when traveling by yourself, you find yourself being far more gracious. It doesn't matter if you're dealing with hotel staff, restaurant servers, or even other people who happen to be in your way; when you're by yourself, you treat everyone better. And when you come home, you tend to retain those manners. The people in the service industry that you interact with are no different than the ones you have met overseas or in a nearby country.

The way I now treat service industry workers was pointed out to me by friends that I was out with here in my home city. It not only shows that you're a polite person, it also makes you look more cultured.

You become a selfie master out of necessity 

I spent years putting off buying a smart phone because I didn't want to become addicted to it, or to be the type of person who took endless selfies.


When I started traveling by myself, I soon realized that taking selfies was absolutely necessary. As one who goes to comic book, anime, and other geek conventions, I can tell you that geeks have a code of "no stealing" when you ask someone to take a pic of you with friends or of another cosplay and hand them your phone. It's awesome. But being in a foreign country where you don't know anybody, and you want a picture of yourself at a certain landmark, like the Eiffel Tower, you gotta switch your camera to selfie mode to snap that perfect pic.

After doing this for years, I learned how to master selfies with no filters by using angling, 2-5 second timers, and natural light to take the most genuine-looking shots I could find. Here's a sample of some of my favorite traveling selfies, some of which were taken before I mastered the art:

Clockwise from top right corner: Cliffs of Moher (Ireland), Saint Peter's Basilica (The Vatican), Green Man Brewery (Asheville, NC), Globe Theater (England), Eiffel Tower (France), and British Museum (England). 

Also, it's one of the best safety hacks anyone can use when they're traveling. If you're by yourself, the first thing you should do is take a picture of yourself and upload it to whichever social network platform you use the most so that, in the unlikely event you find yourself in trouble, the local authorities will have a picture of you and what you were wearing that day so they can find you. Who knew that selfies could actually help save your life?


Personal Growth

All the previous points eventually lead up to this: you will return a different person. You may come back more cultured, more self-sufficient, more courageous, more daring, or more at peace with yourself as a person. Whatever the change, it can be slight, or it can make you someone you never knew you could become. There are few things in this world you can do to elicit this kind of self-discovery.


Being alone is a recognized and completely legitimate fear many people have. If you chose to face it by traveling by yourself, you will have faced down a prevalent fear in society, and that's a major feat to tackle.

The Final Word

The freedom that comes from solo travel is an experience that is rarely felt doing anything else and learning how to adapt to a foreign environment helps build you up to be a stronger person overall. Solo traveling is more than just taking a vacation by yourself; it's a learning experience.

Now yes, it can be dangerous, especially to women, but I believe that the personal growth you can develop is priceless. Whether you have an entire personality change or just develop some handy personal skills by the time you come home, you will return a different person.

But now, there's another question coming up: how exactly did I, Lady Gadabout, become a solo traveler? Well, you'll hear the answer and the story in my next post. Until then...


Images courtesy of Giphy.