Travel Romance: Is it Worth It?

Ironically, this is just in time for Valentine's Day. I did not plan this.

Every person who has traveled and doesn't have a significant other back home has at least considered the possibility of pursuing a romance with a foreigner. 

No, not THAT Foreigner!

Let me tell you right off the bat that whatever expectations you may have from rom-coms and the like should be completely disregarded. Think less like Leap Year and more along the lines of Taken as being more likely to happen. If you want to use a movie as a reference that is markedly realistic, please check out Before Sunrise. This 90s film starring Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy focuses on an American man and a French woman meeting on a train to Vienna who decide to spend the remainder of his time in Europe together before his flight leaves in the morning.

Before we continue, I would like to state what parts of travel, holiday, or vacation "romance" I am referring to. I will be focusing on two aspects only: romance while traveling solo, and romance while traveling within a group. I will not be covering Tinder usage or trying to land a one-night stand. 

This post will also be covering safety and possible hazards in pursuing a romance while traveling. It may be a bit of a downer, but if we're being honest, this can be an extremely risky action to take. You don't want to find yourself in a Taken situation. 

I am happy to report that the limited experiences I have had were situations where I was in no danger, but that doesn't make me the rule. Every traveler, regardless of gender, should take any and all precautions before making the choice to pursue this action.

Solo Travel Romance

Picture this: you're an excited traveler all by yourself in one of the most romantic cities in the world. You've been in the country for only a few hours, you've checked in to your hotel, you've freshened up and look cute, and you're ready to take on the town for adventure. Instead of taking public transportation to your destination, you choose to stretch your legs and walk after having been cooped up in an airplane for hours.

And then, you make eye contact with a handsome local.

Sounds like the start of a romance book or movie, right? Well, the scene may have been embellished a little, but my personal experience was similar to this, and worked out to how a more ideal situation would draw out. And we'll also discuss what could have gone wrong. 

The Meeting

You may not meet someone right away. In fact, you may not meet anyone at all, and that's ok. But when you do meet someone and you feel attraction or a connection, the first thing you need to do is trust your gut. Your gut instinct is never wrong, and even if it is an exciting sensation to see a potential romance on the horizon, do not lose your head! Be excited but listen to your gut. If anything at all seems off, politely excuse yourself and find a means of putting distance between you and this person.

In my scenario, I was 2 hours in Rome, had just left my hotel and wasn't looking too particularly cute (but cute enough), but I had a destination in mind: the Termini. I was walking down somewhat familiar streets from my last visit, when I saw a young man wandering around by himself, looking a little lost. I kept moving, but soon, he came up to me asking for help. He was a traveler like me, and he spoke decent English. He needed some help because he had never been to Rome before and would be meeting with friends later.

What Went Right vs. What Could Have Gone Wrong

Having been to the Termini several times before, I told him I could take him there. My intent was to find a Hop-On-Hop-Off bus tour by myself. I also wanted to bring him there in case my gut instinct was wrong. I decided to just go with it, and here are the steps I took to ensure my safety.

Step One: Go Somewhere with Lots of People

I was a little nervous, but my gut instinct was telling me that this guy was harmless. We introduced ourselves, then I explained that I wasn't from Rome either but had been here before, and where I was going. He asked if he could come along.

Important: do NOT tell anyone where you're staying until more familiarity has been established.

Here's a little something to consider as well

Bringing this person to a heavily populated place will provide you with plenty of witnesses should they try to take advantage of you. It's also easier to escape from one person when there are more people around, and there is more likely to be security personnel.

Once we made it to the Termini, I took his phone number and added him on Messenger, but I didn't give him my number, nor did I add him on Facebook. He was fine with this arrangement, and I planned to move on, but he had asked me to wait till he spoke with the friends he was meeting and gave them a call.

Step Two: Establish that you have friends coming

Now, having brought this guy at the Termini, I indicated that I was planning to move on. He asked me if I had friends, and I told him the truth that yes, I did have friends, but I didn't tell him that they were friends I hadn't met yet because my Contiki tour hadn't begun. He told me that he had reached his friends, but they had gone to the beach, and one of them would be back around 2. Since his friends would be back before my group was supposed to meet, he asked if he could tag along with me.

I checked my gut again and there were still no alarms going off, so I said yes, he could join me. 

As stated above, I didn't tell him that I hadn't met my friends formally yet. I am not the type of person to advocate for lying, but some situations require that you do not tell the truth. If you're the religious type, please refer to a character from the Bible named Rahab who lied to keep Hebrew spies safe. Because of her actions, she was included in the line of Christ, so if she can lie and receive that kind of honor, then you can lie to save your own life if you have to (Joshua 6, Matthew 1:5)!

When traveling and you meet someone, one of the first things they will do is ask if you are alone. Even if you are alone, LIE. Tell them you are waiting on friends. This will also give you an out if you find that you need a quick exit. If you have the opportunity and the cell phone plan, find a way to reach out to a friend or family member and ask them to be on standby if you need them to be.

Step Three: Take a picture of the person

After this young man and I had spent about 45 minutes together, I had offered to take a picture of him at one of the locations we were checking. He did hesitate a little and said that he wasn't very photogenic. When I asked again later, he said sure. I took a few more pictures of him during our time together, and you know what? He wasn't kidding. He was a fairly attractive guy, but he didn't take pictures well. It happens.

This step can be executed as early as you want, but this is a move that is better done in a smart manner. Making this offer can held reveal bad intentions early on. If need be you can play the cute one and say you want a picture to best remember them by because flattery can work in your favor. 

Red flag: the person becomes defensive and says that they don't take pictures.

If the person you have met doesn't want to take a picture, that's fine. But if they are vehemently against you taking one for any reason, consider this your cue to make a swift exit. This is a sign that this person most likely has unsavory intentions.

Yellow flag: the person hesitates and says they're not entirely comfortable.

This is a yellow flag because some people aren't comfortable taking pictures, whether for personal, religious, or even vanity purposes. The reason may be legit, so accept this excuse the first time, then try again when they're feeling a little more comfortable. If they give you one of the excuses above, pay attention to your gut. However, if they change their mind and allow you to take one, that's usually (key word) a green flag. I would still advise sending that picture to a trusted friend or family member ASAP to be safe.

Green flag: sure!

Most of the time, an emphatic agreement is an indicator that the person doesn't have bad motives. This would usually imply that the person is genuinely interested in you and wants to remember you, but as stated before, still send a picture of this person to a contact as soon as possible.

Step Four: Keep to streets or areas where there are lots of people around

The young man and I explored the area around the Termini and checked out a church before exploring the side streets. We chatted while taking pictures of the sights, discussing our plans in the country, and generally getting to know each other. I wasn't sure where we were headed, but as long as there were people around, I was more at ease. My gut still wasn't going off.

It is vitally important that despite your gut giving you the go-ahead that you keep your safety at the forefront. If you opt to stay outside, keep to busy streets where there are people milling along the sidewalks or have a good number of cars and other vehicles. This should discourage bad behavior when there are more witnesses about. And stay as close to the buildings as possible, as someone can be snatched from the edge of the street into a car or van.

If you want to go to any venues, try to go for museums or churches first. These are both areas where being quiet is advised, so if the person tries anything sleazy with you, you can make a lot of noise and someone will come by to tell you to keep it down. Plus, churches are usually a deterrent for people with bad intentions!

Restaurants are a good backup plan as you will have waiters and servers coming by often. I would be wary of bars and clubs because they can be tourist traps with people on the lookout for easy marks. For all you know, this person you have met may be leading you someplace like that on purpose. To further keep your safety in check, skip the bar and find somewhere else. If they are insistent on taking you to some specific venue and won't take no for an answer, make your escape.

Step Five: Leave them wanting more

If everything has gone well by this point, it still may be a long con. Do not silence your gut if it starts trying to warn you after a long period of being quiet. The more time spent with this person may lower the chances of that happening, but this early on, it's probably still not zero. 

After spending a few hours together, find a reason to part. This is not to ghost or scare them away, but to check on their intentions. This person could be someone nice who just wanted to be friendly with someone from another country instead of a prospective romance. By parting, you can also indicate to them how important your time is and that if you want to make them a potential priority, you are the one calling those shots.

When the person agrees to this, it is yet again another green flag. You shouldn't message or call them back right away because you could come off as too eager, which could repel them, or worse, make you look like an easy mark. Wait an hour or a few before reaching out to them. And remember, don't tell them where you're staying. 

In the event the person reaches out to you first, prioritize your agenda. If you do want to make time for this person and are unable to at the moment, communicate this to them. When they understand and try to work with your agenda, that's usually an indicator of the start of a friendship or more. 

It's when the person seems a little too eager to meet you again that you can enter a yellow flag area. The person may just be lonely and not want to be by themselves in a strange land, which is a perfectly acceptable excuse. Or this could be a setup. Pay attention to how they respond to your plans and listen to your gut. Loneliness can lead to guilting, so take any sign of guilting as a red flag. You don't need that on your trip.

The conclusion of my story is that the young man and I eventually parted ways after one of his friends was able to pick him up. She was a cool person, and we chatted a bit and shared some hugs before we all moved on. It wasn't long though before he was reaching out to me and asking me if we could hang out again. I explained to him that I had met up with my friends and that we would be out on the town that night before leaving in the morning. I informed him I would be back in Rome later and we might be able to meet up then.

We did correspond a few other times, but he didn't seem to grasp the concept that I had left Rome because he kept asking me if we could meet up. I finally was back in Rome and let him know when I was free, but he ironically wasn't. My verdict was that this guy got a little excited about a possible holiday romance, but I wasn't interested in that. He was nice, but a little too eager. 

One of the nice things about this type of scenario though is that when you return home, you no longer have the ability to see the people you're not interested in. This guy and I had a nice afternoon together, and I wished him well. Overall, I am extremely fortunate that I was never in any danger.

The Bottom Line

Being alone in a foreign country is an exciting but sometimes hazardous experience, and inexperience can often land you in difficult situations. Your gut instinct is your best defense, so don't question it if it starts trying to warn you. Having a romance with a stranger when you're traveling alone may seem ideal, but it can also put you at an extreme disadvantage if you aren't careful.

In Before Sunrise, the characters of Jesse and Celine have a natural meeting aboard a train and spend time getting to know one another for the duration of their trip before he invites her to join him in Vienna. This film, more realistic than all others, shows the development of chemistry between two people in a way that is not only natural, but healthy. There's no coercion and no red flags. It is also the single example for a best-case scenario when traveling.

Just don't forget that while realistic, Before Sunrise is a work of fiction. Don't be swept away by Hollywood ideals.

Group Travel Romance

This method may be safer but can be more complicated. The upside to group travel romance is that you are around friends at this point who can offer support or advice with the person you're interested in. You are also around this person more often and can take advantage of the time you have together to hopefully develop a steady relationship. 

Harsh Realities

Still, just because you're traveling in the same group doesn't always mean that things will work out with the person you're interested in. Here are several things to consider when choosing to pursue someone in your group:

They may not be interested in you, or may be interested in someone else

This is the most likely issue you will come across in group travel romance. That smoking hot guy or gal from a different country, or maybe even your own country, that you would like to get to know better is not guaranteed to return your interest. It is markedly important that you try to establish that you have mutual interest. If they do not, then move on. 

The inability to give up your interest if this person is already taken or has their eye on someone else, or even is happy being single will be noticeable by others in your group. You may not care how you come off, but an unrequited love with someone you barely know is not worth pining over. You deserve better. Especially if they want to be with someone else in your group. Avoiding drama will make you the bigger person in the long run.

They may be involved with someone else back home

Some people aren't comfortable being open about their love life. The person you're interested in may not give you a reason as to why they aren't interested back, and that reason could be that they are already in a relationship. It's best to not press the issue if this person won't disclose that they prefer to keep their relationship status to themselves.

They may be dishonest about being single

One of the best things about traveling with a group is that nobody knows you beforehand. However, there are some people who revel in that mindset and will tell you they're single when they have someone waiting for them at home. Or several. Yes, this does happen when traveling, and they can seriously hurt you. 

Travel romance may be an amazing experience, but it can still blindside you if you aren't careful. Don't allow yourself to fall too hard for this person, because you must face the fact that you barely know them. Communication is the best key, but even the smoothest liars can beat that.

They may have a different idea of what they want for a travel romance

You may be interested in a short-term romance, and they may want something that could potentially lead to a longer commitment. Or they may only be looking for a one-night stand. This may potentially be demoralizing if neither of you are clear on what your motivation is. Once again, be clear on what it is you want from that person. If your goals don't add up, then it's best to stick to your guns and move on. If the person doesn't respect you for your choices, then you will have dodged a bullet.

They may be from a country or culture that has different values that may conflict with yours

Cultures across the world often have different dating practices. You may be wanting to be involved with someone for the duration of your trip, but that person may have an entirely different idea of what is comfortable or even appropriate for their values. You may come across someone who has chosen to be celibate and is happy being that way or prefers to wait until marriage before becoming physical.

You should never try to force your different ideals on someone who has either been raised with a certain type of values or has made that personal choice for themselves.

If their choices conflict with your needs, then it's best to stay friends them instead.

Pursing a Healthy Travel Romance

I may have sounded cynical up to this point, but the truth is that holiday romance can be more complicated than it seems. One of the simple truths is that the time you have with this person is currently limited. If it is a goal of yours to become involved with someone on your trip, then it's best to go in with the right mindset.

I am someone who has had a variety of experiences on trips, but the drama I have witnessed far outweighs what I have gone through. Drama is not something you want to incite in a group setting because it will never end well for any party. Here's some tips on how to avoid drama when pursuing a travel romance in a group setting.

Be ready for anything

Whether you're determined to find someone to get involved with, or you become interested in someone after having spent a few days with them, you should be ready for their answer to be no. Be hopeful that something can blossom with this person, but also be prepared that they won't reciprocate. Never expect that such a thing will be happening. Accept the reality that nothing will happen and you won't be as disappointed.

Remember, you are traveling. You are on an adventure. To allow a person that you may only meet once in your life to ruin your trip is silly. The worst that person can say is that they're not interested. If they don't see your worth, then move on and continue having a good time. It's their loss, not yours!

Communicate

As stated above, your expectations for a holiday romance may be vastly different. Make sure that if this person returns your interest and wants to get involved with you that you are on the same page. If you only want to be involved for the duration of the trip, say so. If you want a relationship that will endure past your trip, let that person know.

Nothing will wreck your potential relationship faster than miscommunication, especially if the person you want to be with is from another country. You don't want to be presumptuous, and you don't want that person to be confused if they do something they didn't realize was not okay.

Know when to walk away

You may do everything right, but sometimes that still means that things won't work out. Your romance may be brief and fizzle out before the trip ends. It's sad, but it happens. Don't drag out a romance that has already burnt out and communicate to this person that it's time to end things. 

Or maybe things didn't quite reach romance level. You had some fun together, but it turned out the other person, while interested at first, changed their mind for some reason, or you're the one who came to that conclusion. There's nothing wrong with acknowledging that things didn't work out for whatever reason. Be open and honest and do your best to make sure that neither of you gets hurt.

Talk to others in your group

Believe it or not, sometimes admitting that you're interested in someone within your group will become a bonding experience between yourself and your new traveling friends! If you're becoming good friends with a roommate, or a clique of people, let them in on your little crush and see how they react. When traveling, it's usually prudent to allow for at least one other person in on what's happening. And, it's also fun to be in on your friends' crushes too!

By being open with your friends, they can provide you with feedback, especially if you're newer to a group and the person or people you're now friends with have traveled with this other person longer and know them better. These people will often know if they're single or not, or if someone else is interested in them. Or better, they may love the idea of the two of you hooking up and start shipping the two of you!

On the other hand, they may also be aware that you pursuing this person is not the best idea. They can be honest in letting you know that your personality clashes with the person you're interested in. In my experience, these friends are usually right. And truthfully, you don't want to waste time pursuing who's not a good match.

Then there's the difficult scenario: you and another person (or sometimes, persons!) are interested in the same guy or gal. 

This is a situation that should be determined by the person who is being pursued. Who do they want? They may not even want any of you! My best advice here would be to test the waters with this person to see if there's a connection. If there is, communicate with the other one who's interested in them and try to explain that you've clicked. 

Just be tactical about it.

If it turns out the person you're pursuing wants the other one, be the bigger person and step back. Nobody who isn't interested in you is worth wasting time on your vacation.

Going forward, remember only this: you have most likely saved a good amount of money or taken some much needed time away from your job and responsibilities to be where you're currently at. A failed attempt at romance is not the end of the world. Continue having a good time without them. You are here for yourself, and even if you're hurt by this person's actions or even inactions, it's not worth ruining your trip.

A Glimpse of What Worked

My post about the best experiences I had while traveling included the one where I was kissed by a young man in Paris.

Without going into any major details, what transpired between us was not something that I had planned. I had undergone a civil breakup several months prior to that trip and wasn't in the mood to pursue anything. Even when I met this guy there were no sparks whatsoever. I was introduced to him, he was introduced to me and everyone else in our newbie group, and then the rest of his group followed with their introductions. It was nearly the end of the trip before anything began to develop between us.

What did happen over those few days after we met was that he and I somehow found ourselves constantly running into each other at times when we were both separated from our group. We didn't actively seek each other out. And we became friends first, which did eventually lead to something more the day that kiss happened. In the end, we parted as friends, which I fully believe was the appropriate way to end things. 

Sometimes attraction simply blossoms when you least expect it. As long as the two of you communicate and stay on the same page, a healthy experience or long-term relationship can happen! 

If you want an idea of how things progressed between the two of us, I'll refer again to Before Sunrise. While definitely not following the same plot, beats, or events, the conversations between Jesse and Celine were very reminiscent of the ones I had with my young man as we explored Paris instead of Vienna. And the content was more of a Hallmark movie.

Ultimately, is it worth it?

Well, there are plenty of people out there who found their partner or soulmate by traveling. It is something that, under the right circumstances, can work out in a safe and healthy manner. But being out there in the world by yourself does come with many risks that do need addressing. 

The two things to remember when deciding to pursue a travel romance under any condition is to listen to your gut and know if and when to walk away from that idea or that person. I have said it many times in this post, and I'll say it again: it's not worth it to allow a failed attempt at romance ruin your trip.

To conclude, I would say it is at least worth trying it once in your travels, provided that the situation is fitting. Whether or not it's something you would like to pursue throughout your travels is dependent on you. Use your best judgment, and don't allow yourself to be swept away by romantic ideals.

As stated in my last post, my new job will be more time consuming, so I won't be able to post as often as I'd like to. So, my next post is still currently being decided, but you should hopefully see it sooner rather than later!

Until then, stay safe, and be prepared for your next adventure!

Images courtesy of Giphy.

Adventuring in Italy: What to Look For!

Hello dear readers, after reading my review of the places in Italy I was able to visit, are you ready to check it out for yourself?

Italy is a wonderful country, and well worth the experience of visiting at least once in your life. However, like every country out there, there are aspects of the country that tourist focus on, such as some of the best wine in the world, incredible food, and historical ruins like the Colosseum. However, there's so much more than just that! 

Like the canals of the smaller islands, including Burano

I spent some time before embarking on this journey doing as much research as possible so I could be properly prepared for my second visit here. From travel blogs to Buzzfeed articles, to Facebook groups, I was able to glean especially helpful tips on what to expect and how to avoid scams. Because many of these tips are common, if you have been doing similar research before leaving, you will very likely see notes here in other media. While that may be true, I am not attempting to plagiarize, but to offer my own perspective on popular opinions and hazards that you may come across. 

And now, let us start with what to look for in Italy!

Hazards and Scams

It may seem a bit of down to open with, but this is one of the most important topics to discuss in this post, and I would like to get it out of the way before continuing to the good meat.

Transportation

The tourism industry is huge part of Italy's economy, and let's face it, tourists are quite often easy to take advantage of. Most visitors won't be renting a car and will be relying on public transit or taxis to travel from point A to point B. One of the many tips my group was given about taking taxis was to agree on the fee with the driver before leaving for your destination. Making this agreement before the trip prevents them from purposefully taking longer routes to tack more cash onto their fee.

But wait, what about Ubers?

Unfortunately, Ubers are illegal throughout most of Italy, though they are available in both Rome and Milan. When you're in those cities, I would highly advise using Uber, as that company is more reliable.

Pickpockets

These little stinkers congregate in high-traffic areas where they can easily slip past you and snatching items without you realizing it. I have already covered the subject of traveling with a messenger bag or a purse with a strap that goes across the body, but if you don't have either of these, and have a backpack or tote, you should flip the backpack around to the front, and keep the tote close to your body.

Then there's trains and the Metro. Both areas are high risk for pickpockets as well, so it's best to keep your items or luggage as close to you as possible in these regions. With so much hustle and bustle from both locals and visitors, it's easy for someone to make quick work of you. 

Thankfully, the Italian government has signs posted at high-risk areas to be on the lookout for pickpockets, but these are in areas that have the most foot traffic. When in popular areas, you must be on high alert. Don't keep anything of value in your pockets or in any side pockets in whatever bag or tote you have with you. 

Peddlers

No matter where you go, you will always find people trying to sell cheap knockoffs to visitors. And these guys are sneaky! 

Many times, these peddlers will try complementing you to get your attention, and then you find yourself sucked into checking out their less than competent products. Others will try to guilt you when you try to walk past them. It's sad to do, but it's usually best to keep walking and to ignore these sellers because it's really not worth looking at their wares.

Then there are the ones trying to sell things like toys and roses. If you give them too much attention, they can hand you one of their products, tell you it's a gift, and then not leave you alone because they still want you to pay them. Don't fall for their tactics! Sweet talking is a very prominent tactic out here, so anytime someone tries handing you something, politely decline and keep moving.

There are also people who will try to buy tickets for you at kiosks where you can purchase your fare, whether it's for the Metro, bus, or any other train. They will literally keep you from putting your coins in unless you give it to them first. This is yet another situation where you will have to be a little more aggressive, because once you hand over any coin, they'll keep trying to gouge you. Don't allow them to take advantage of you!

Restaurants and Menus

The closer you are to the city center, the more likely it is that you will come across a restaurant that will overcharge you for their menus. What you want to look for are restaurants that have menus in both Italian and English that show the same prices for their options. If they have one menu in Italian and another in English, ask for the Italian menu and use a translator app to determine the selections and prices.

Many restaurants will also offer outside menus with pictures of the dishes they offer. These menu boards will often look generic and offer less than stellar food for ridiculous prices. No matter how hungry you are, if you are in a popular area, try to avoid the venues that tourists are flocking to and try to find where the locals are going. They will know the genuine restaurants with the best service. Or check Yelp, because many Italians will take the time to rate the best restaurants in the city.

Keep in mind that sometimes these types of restaurants will often be the only ones open later at night. When you're in that situation, and it's well past your dinnertime, stay vigilant. The night my group was in Milan, it was after 9:00pm that we were finally able to grab some dinner and found ourselves at a restaurant that was a tourist trap because there weren't many options available. 

First, they set up a table for us specifically, and handed us English menus that didn't include prices for drinks. I ordered a Negroni, and the waiter asked me, "small, medium or large?" My Spidey-sense was tingling, so I ordered a small, while others in my group ordered larges. My small drink, which was roughly the size of pint, cost €10! And those larges that were practically half the sizes of buckets ordered by my friends? €30! And they were completely hammered before they finished them!

This is the face of a person who knows what's going on

Now there are other types of scams out there, but these are the ones that I had first and secondhand experience with. Thankfully, most of the issues I had were with the peddlers since they operate smarter, so I only lost a few coins from meeting them at their game. Just because I had extremely small losses don't mean it can't happen to you. Keep your eyes opened in the popular areas!

Drinks

We all know that Italy is renowned for some of the best wines in the world, but there's more to their drink menu than just wine! Let's have a look at some of the other drinks you can find here.

Water

This is another subject I briefly touched upon in yet another post. Throughout Italy, water is free and available through easily accessible fountains (but not always decorative fountains!). Bring a water bottle with you everywhere you go to keep hydrated.

It's all good!

Now, when ordering water in a restaurant, there are two types of water that are available. There is still, which is the filtered or mineral water served. Then there's sparkling water. Italy is also known for being a top seller of sparkling, or carbonated, water. It's not a particular like of mine, so I always order still. Often, you'll be seated at a table that has both options available.

The red-capped bottles are still, and the silver capped are sparkling

When you request water, the waiters will usually ask if you would like still or sparkling, so you can order based on your preference. Some places won't offer you that option, so if all they offer is sparkling, you can request still directly, and vice versa.

Alcoholic Drinks

If you're a wine lover and that's all you plan to consume, that's a perfectly good preference. However, there are other drinks that are specific to Italy and worth the taste test. Here's a few that I was able to try out while out there.

Aperol Spritz

The Aperol Spritz is a cocktail of prosecco, Aperol, and sparkling water, garnished with a slice of lemon or orange. I loved this spirit and ordered it as often as possible. It is also available here in the States though it's not as popular, nor is it as good. It's a very refreshing drink with just enough of a kick, and pairs well with many entrees.

My last Aperol in Rome

Negroni

The Negroni is a bitter drink that is made of Campari, gin, and sweet vermouth, and garnished with lemon or orange. If sweet cocktails aren't to your liking, this one is nice alternative. As stated previously about the "small" size I had ordered earlier, you may want to try ordering a traditional size to see if you like it first.

Bellini

A Bellini is essentially an Italian mimosa made with prosecco and peach juice or puree. This one is refreshing at any time of day, particularly on a warm afternoon. If you are a fan of mimosas with brunch, give this one a try with a croissant or crepe.

Grappa

Waiters are apparently amused when tourists order this drink. The friends and I who ordered this drink all reported the same experience: when saying we'd like grappa, the waiter's face would light up, and they would say, "oooh! The grappa!" 

Grappa is best described as grape tequila. Tequila is usually served in a shot glass, but grappa comes in a flute. And this stuff is potent! It does tend to be a little pricier than other drinks offered, but I'd say try it at least once, if only to see if your server gives you that reaction. Just be prepared for it to burn like tequila!

I have the grappa, and my friends have beer and an Aperol Spritz

Limoncello

Lemons are almost as big of a part of Italian culture as grapes. Limoncello is a liquor made from lemon, and is often served straight up, or with sparkling water as a spritz. If lemon drops are a favorite of yours, or even just plain lemonade, give this one a try!

Our host demonstrating how to make limoncello at home!

Non-Alcoholic drinks

If you don't drink alcohol for any reason at all, I salute you. So let me introduce you to two options that you should try if you don't drink. And if you do drink, still try these out!

Cioccolata

This is the Italian answer to hot chocolate. Although I had it in the summertime, it was still a fabulous comfort drink. This elegant drink is made from a thick drinking chocolate and is extremely rich and bittersweet. Don't leave the country without trying this!

I don't care if it's 90 degrees farenheight out here, this was too good to pass up!

Lemon Soda

There's brand of Lemon Soda by Freedea that you can find in just about any restaurant or store. I'm not much of a soda drinker, but I love this stuff. Not only is it non-alcoholic, it's also cheap. I don't think I paid more than €2 for a can of the stuff. It's cool, refreshing, and a good compliment to most Italian food. The carbonation is also lighter than most American sodas, so if carbonation is a reason for you to not drink sodas, maybe try this one just to see if you like it.

Wines

I may have focused on the non-wine drinks so far, but hey, if you're gonna write a post about Italy, you must discuss the wine at some point.

Most restaurants will offer red and white wine options, as expected, but many times they will offer the "house wine." The house wine changes often and is supplied by a local vintner. If you would like to know the name of the wine, the servers will usually provide you with that information. Ordering the house wine is a good means of trying independent brands.

Ahh....glorious!

There are also some restaurants that don't sell wine by the glass. They sell wine in liter increments: 1/3rd liter, 1/2 liter, and full liter. Being an American that is still getting the hang of the metric system, I went ahead and ordered a half liter at a restaurant because it was at the unbeatable price of €6. What I forgot is that a liter of wine should be compared to a liter of soda!

I wound up with a small pitcher full of wine! Thankfully, I had a friend with me, and he gladly accepted some of my wine whilst I polished off about 2/3s of that sucker by myself (and still wasn't even tipsy). So, I will reiterate: my American readers, if you see wine offered by the liter, remember how big a liter of soda is here in the States!

My lunch of gnocchi, and you can see the pitcher behind the glass

And finally, we have toasting. Every country has a different toast, whether it's a specific word or phrase when toasting, or including an action of some kind. In the Venezia region, it's customary to toast, and then tap the bottom of the glass on either the table or countertop if you're seated at one or the other, or to tap the ground if you don't. The reasoning? If you don't tap the bottle of the glass before taking a drink, you'll never have sex again.

No joke.

I don't know what other Italian regions go by that tradition, but if you ever see someone standing with a glass of wine who toasts with their friends, and then drops down into a squat to tap the ground with their glass, you now know why!

Food

Just about everyone in the world is familiar with Italian cuisine and how it also is some of the best in the world. We love the pizza (even though that originated in Greece, it was just perfected in Napoli), the spaghetti, ravioli, lasagna, gelato, and pesto, to name a few of the popular dishes. 

Florentine spaghetti! And a nice Chianti...

Naturally, we're going to discuss some of the other dishes that are served in Italy that aren't as popular in Italian restaurants here in the States. It may be possible to find these items elsewhere, but many are specific to Italy. Make sure to try all of these when you go there!

Appetizers and Entrees

Calamari

Calamari is a common enough dish throughout the world, especially in the coastal areas of North America. However, the Mediterranean calamari fished and served in the coastal regions of Italy are second to none. Normally breaded and deep fried, they are usually served with lemon wedges or marinara sauce on the side. The meat is tender and flavorful and must be experienced here.

The best calamari was found at WEnice in Venice.

Polpette

We all know about meatballs, but did you know there are other types of balls served for meal and snacking purposes?

Don't laugh, I know where your dirty minds are going!

The polpette is on the right

Polpette, or Italian meatball, is a breaded ball that is either baked or deep fried, and is usually made of meat, but can also be made in vegetarian options featuring cheese or vegetables. Though many restaurants feature polpette with mixtures of the listed items, vegan options can also be available in certain restaurants. The sizes can be smaller for when you just want a flavorful snack, or in larger sizes as a main course. And they are delicious! 

Most restaurants will sell them in packs of 1-8 pieces. My favorite place to find them was at Bocconi Street Food in Verona.

Cicchetti

Many restaurants in the Venice region will promote cicchetti, which is a small appetizer. These will often be small fish or meat portions, crostini, polpette, cheese, or veggies, to name a few. 

Here's an example of homemade cicchettis and a house wine

The term is rather broad instead of focusing on one type and is up to the restaurant's discretion to what they'll be serving. The more venues you visit, the more varied the cicchetti will be. One restaurant our group visited had crostini with a fish spread made from an imported Norwegian fish breed that had been served in an unchanged family recipe for hundreds of years!

This option is popular with diners who want a simple snack to accompany their evening wine. If you would like to try the fish spread cicchetti, it can be found at the Ostaria Antica Dolo in Venice.

Burrata Salad

You can never have enough cheese, right? Well, the cheese addict in me nearly died in the Shakespearean sense when I came across this blessed dish.

The burrata salad is a salad of arugula, tomatoes, and green olives with an entire ball of burrata cheese slathered in pesto on top. Never in my life had a seen such a beautiful cheese dish. And I ate that sucker with so much relish. It was positively glorious.

Served with calamari and a velvety dry wine

This salad isn't always offered, but if you come across a restaurant that has it on its menu, order it! You will not be disappointed! To find this one specifically, you can find it at Il Porticciolo in Manarola.

Desserts

Cannoli

You've probably heard of this dessert from the famous line from the film, The Godfather: "leave the gun. Take the cannoli." However, many people aren't aware of what cannoli is. It is a deep-friend pastry shell stuffed with a sweet ricotta cheese filling, and usually has either dried fruit or chocolate chips in that same filling and dusted with powdered sugar. If you want to take a break from eating gelato, this makes for a good alternative.

Make sure you have a plate and plenty of napkins on hand when eating this, for the pastry portion will often break and spill the contents. Catch every precious crumb and piece of filling, for it shall be worth it!

Lemon tiramisu

Tiramisu is popular throughout Italy, and is served in several flavors, but the rarest flavor to find is the lemon. I only found one cafe that sold the lemon variety, and it was amazing! Since I found this toward the end of our trip when we were in Positano, I would assume that it can be found in coastal cities since I hadn't seen it anywhere else prior to this, nor was I able to find it anywhere else after leaving the region.

Toy dinosaurs make every picture more interesting

If you find it on the menu, and you love lemons, be sure to order it!

Nutella

Nutella is everywhere.

You'll find it served in just about any pastry shop, in all the convenience stores and service stations, and even at McDonald's! And you can find them in so many different varieties: stuffed biscuits, muffins, crepes, gelato flavors, and flatbreads! 

So much yum!

One of the reasons why Nutella is so popular over here is because there's no peanut butter. When you look at most American menus and shops, you can find peanut butter options offered. If you find yourself craving peanut butter in Italy, unfortunately you'll be out of luck, because there's only Nutella. You could be sick of it before you leave!

Manners

Being one of the top-visited countries in the world, Italians deal with tourists on a regular basis. Most of the time, they are very cordial and welcoming, and in this Covid era, are very happy to see people visiting again. They love their country and, despite having some scammers in the bigger cities, try to enhance your experience.

However, they are also very direct.

If you step out of line or make and inadvertent faux pa, they don't beat around the bush, they tell you flat out, and the tone is a bit on the aggressive side. Now this almost never done in a rude manner, but in a way to keep visitors from breaking any rules, avoiding hazards of any kind, staying out of the wrong areas, or needing to see documentation of any kind. Once they get the point across, if you adhere to their words, they'll usually go right back into their warm selves again.

Directness is never personal with the Italians. Yes, you will come across rude people there from time to time, but Italians value communication, which is why they can come across as a little brusque. Just remember that they're not being mean, they're just looking out for you in their way. Unless you're directly breaking the rules (in which case, shame on you!), they won't hold your transgressions against you.

Driving

Despite the locals being courteous, the driving in another matter entirely. Driving in Italy is insane. There are no passive drivers in Italy, only aggressive. However, just like the manners, aggressive doesn't mean that everyone has road rage. Yes, sometimes a driver will be too aggressive to the point of jeopardizing someone's safety, in which case another driver may lash out, but everyone here drives the same and it's up to you to determine if driving here is for you.

A lot of the roadways in the bigger cities are narrow, so you will see almost as many Vespas as you will cars. Traveling by Vespa tends to be a quicker option for bigger cities and more convenient regarding parking. These drivers do have to be aggressive as well but can weave in and out of traffic like motorcyclists. 

Taxi and Uber drivers though, they can get you from point A to point B in very fast time, but you will definitely want your seatbelt on and to hold on to something! Most of the time you'll have a driver who is aggressive but safe, but every now and then you'll come across one who drives like an absolute maniac! 

In one of the cities that offered Uber, a group of friends and I requested a van pickup back to our hotel. Our driver was a nice and chatty guy, but we were clinging for dear life as he sped through those streets! One of the other girls in this group was a Disney cast member, so I asked her during the ride, "is it just me, or does this feel like Mr. Toad's Wild Ride?" She nodded emphatically and said, "YES."

Though the driving here is insane, remember that everyone who grew up here learned how to drive like this. It may seem unsafe to anyone who isn't used to this kind of driving, but they know what they're doing. 

One other thing that needs mentioning though is that pedestrians do not have the right of way. You must wait for the streetlights to give you the walk sign to cross the streets safely. In certain areas, such as Naples, not even that is enough to cross. You need to hold out your hand with your palm facing toward the drivers to indicate that you are crossing. And sometimes the drivers won't even heed that. Crossing the street is sometimes at your own risk!

Stairs

The moment you book that trip to Italy, go to the gym and get on the stair stepper. One of my previous posts on how to build your physical endurance before your trip touches on the subject of how using the stair stepper is a great way to prepare for any trip you take. Well, it is an absolute must for Italy.

There were stairs everywhere.

This is a hiking trail, for crying out loud!

There are towers that you can climbs, domes to ascend, cities built into the sides of hills, churches with multiple tiers, and hiking trains with cut stone stairways. People, if you don't practice on a stair stepper beforehand, you are going to be sore when you're out and about!

Even I, who has hiked over 400 miles in the span of the last two years, was unprepared for all of this. Now I'm in decently good shape, and have no problem with most inclines, but my knees aren't great, and my asthma tends to flare up when going up steep inclines. Continual ascents up all these stairs take a serious toll on your body!

I will say again that once you have this trip booked, either seek out a stair stepper at the gym, or do a Rocky and practice by going up and down stairways you have access to. Even if you're in good shape, many stairways can catch you off guard. 

Well, you know what you're getting when you go to the Spanish Steps

Another point about the stairways though is how picturesque they are. Not all of them are winners, but many are worth taking pictures in, whether going up and capturing the walkways, or going down and snapping the gorgeous background emerging from the between the buildings.

The Italian Alps are peeping out back there

Do yourself a favor to prevent the muscle stiffness, sore knees, and aching back and work out with stairs before going. Believe me, there's much you can miss if your body is too sore to go on.

Pay to Pee

Almost every public bathroom in Italy charges you a fee. It sucks, but it's reality. Now there are a few exceptions, mostly with restaurants and tourist attractions, but you have to be eating there or have purchased a ticket in order to use the toilet. For all others in shopping areas, stations, open tourist areas, parks, and the like, you have to pay at least €1 when nature calls.

However....

The toilets tend to be in extremely well maintained. When there's a charge, the money goes toward maintaining the facility, and is usually attended to more often than other toilets. It may be annoying to have to carry coins with you in order to tend to your personal needs but having a sanitary place to go is a rather good deal!

If you haven't been to Europe in general, their currency is usually very coin based for smaller charges, so make sure that you acquire some coins as soon as possible when you make it to Italy or any other European country. It seriously sucks if you have to go and don't have the money!

No Air Conditioning

Italy is in a geographic area where it can decently hot in the summer, but most of the homes and a lot of the hotels don't have air conditioning! Instead, they have big windows that open and let the breeze in, whether it's from the sea or the mountains. The fresh air is delightful, but in those warmer times, like when they have a freak heat wave that cranks the uncomfortableness up to 11, you're in for a miserable time.

When traveling in the summertime, be prepared for the reality that the hotel, hostel, AirBNB or other lodging you've booked may not be equipped with air conditioning. Bring light jammies, because leaving that window open at night, while usually safe, may still allow for some peeping! It doesn't happen often, but if you're the type of person who likes to sleep without the jammies, that could be at your own risk.

There's also the fact that you'll need to keep the windows closed while you're gone. There aren't any screens either, so people can easily climb in if you're staying at that location for multiple days. And bugs? Yes, bugs are a thing out here. The bugs mostly consist of flies and mosquitoes, though the latter would be found in areas that are closer to bodies of water. 

If air conditioning is that important to you, make sure to do your extra research on where you'll be staying to ensure that there's a unit in your lodging. However, if you book with a travel site and the accommodations included don't have air conditioning, you can always ask your trip guide if you can book separately at a location that does offer it. Depending on the company, you may be allowed to, but that will come out of your own pocket.

And finally...Graffiti

Graffiti is everywhere.

It's almost a time-honored tradition for graffiti to coat Italian cities. Even the city of Pompeii had graffiti unearthed on its walls, though they were carved rather than spray painted like today. The carvings from back often had crass writings!

It's a little hard to see, but there's some ancient graffiti from a guy boasting that he had just had sex

Today, you'll find graffiti just about everywhere. It's on the modern buildings, it's on the ancient buildings. The historical sites, such as the Colosseum, are clearly off limits, but these "artists" will tag just about everything else in the vicinity. In some places, it adds to the scenery, while in others, it looks trashy.

However, in places like Florence, efforts are being made to cover graffiti. Some of the venues that are vandalized are covering the graffiti with street art. It's a clever way to add more outdoor art to the city without having to spend all the extra money for removal. 

Here's a good example of art coverage

Whether or not you like graffiti, be prepared for coming to some places you've been wanting to come to having their walls and building tagged. It's a sad reality, but it's everywhere. Don't be disappointed!

And now you're informed!

I hope that this post gave you the information you need to be prepared for visiting. It's an amazing country with incredible food, views, history, and people. There's plenty of other information that wasn't included, but you know what? It's up to you to find out the important aspects for yourself! Everyone is going to have different experiences there, and you may come across something that I didn't mention that you think would be worth pointing out.

I hope the information I have imparted will help to enhance your journey there and to keep you from being taken advantage of. Remember to enjoy yourself and be open to experience just about everything their culture has to offer!

Future Posts

I am happy to announce that I have landed a new job! However, it's far more time consuming than expected, and I'm in an area that doesn't have much cell phone or wi-fi coverage. I will still be writing during this time, but my posts will be fewer. Since I do have my laptop with me, I'll still be writing, but I will likely write them on my computer and post what I've written in several posts at once. It will be dependent on when I can access stable wi-fi.

Next up, fairly soon, you should see my next post about holiday romance. As someone who has witnessed plenty of these, and also had a little bit of experience in that area, I'll be discussing if it is a good idea or not and covering the potential problems with safety and drama.

Stay safe, dear readers, and don't give up on your dreams of travel, we'll all be able to go again soon!

All pictures provided taken by me or my device. Images courtesy of Giphy